4-minute step-by-step guide to reconnecting with someone you love [#9]

How is 2017 so far? Have you had any worries, struggles or frustrations?

I hope that exploring this “disconnect to reconnect” topic will help us get closer to those we love.

I also hope it gives us time to think about other things that we could remove from our lives in order to reduce these worries, struggles or frustrations and have more freedom to live out our values and mission.

Here it is:

A 4-minute step-by-step guide to planning time this week to reconnect with someone you love

  1. Set a timer or look at the clock - following these steps should take 4 minutes or less!
  2. Name one person right now that you will see in person this week, and that you want to reconnect with
    1. The term “reconnect” can mean whatever you want it to
    2. The person could be a good friend that you’ve been meaning to meet up with, your spouse who you've only had logistical conversations with this month, your child, your mom, a neighbor, etc
  3. Choose one action to reconnect with them. Here are some ideas:
    1. Have a device-free date
    2. Put the phones away during dinner at home
    3. Ask that person to take a winter walk with you
    4. Schedule a family board game night
    5. Plan and cook a meal together (using a cookbook or family recipe instead of your phone to follow the recipe)
    6. Make some art together - do a painting, sketch each other’s faces, etc
    7. Make a bucket list together - get out a pen and paper, write down 10 things each - then share your lists and discuss
    8. Those are just some ideas - don’t overthink it, just choose one now!
  4. Invite the person you named to do this thing (text, call, ask in person, etc)
  5. When the person says “yes” to your invitation, follow up with “I would love to give you my full attention while we’re doing this, can we make this time ‘device-free’ - we’ll both turn off and put away our phones/tablets/computers etc?”
  6. Hopefully they will say “yes”, and now you’ve planned a fun way to disconnect from devices and reconnect with this person you love
  7. Follow through - whatever plans you made, stick to them, but if the other person falls through, give them some grace and reschedule for as soon as possible

Note: If you plan a family event at home or meal out, have a designated place to keep your phones after you turn them off - in the glove compartment, in a drawer or closet at home, etc so it’s easy to follow the plan to disconnect and everyone is on the same page.

PS - Please comment below and let me know if you have any other ideas I missed, or success or challenges you’ve had with disconnecting to reconnect.

Your neighbor,

Papa Ben

Spread the word
Papa Ben Dambman

Ben has spent his life searching for the meaning of "home", having lived in Nigeria, Philadelphia, Florida, California, Chicago, Australia and Costa Rica. He believes that "home" (whether you are a globetrotter, have lived in the same house your entire life, or don't even have a place to call home) is something more than a location... and that clearly defining what "home" means to you is essential for a thriving life.

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Una Doyle - February 27, 2017

Great idea! My fiancé and I now put the phones aside when eating our dinner at the table and it does allow us to focus on and pay more attention to each other. 🙂

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