Let’s get real [#5]

Last week a friend asked me “Why are you doing this?” and gave me some good advice.

He basically said I should just get real. I should tell more real stories and talk about why I’m writing this blog.

I think that’s great advice. But it would take much more than one post to tell the whole story of why I am writing this, so I’ll share just a glimpse for now.

If you don’t have time to read this now, keep an eye out for other emails coming this week with some free gifts that will help you clarify your values and mission, and live a thriving life.

Back to the getting real.

Getting real is terrifying for me, by the way – a former boss once told me “Ben, you are really hard to read. I don’t even know if you like working here or hate working here.”

At the time, I was actually proud of the fact that I had such a good poker face, and he had no idea if I was fulfilled or frustrated at work. I definitely did not want to get real. I just wanted to put my head down and do my work.

But over time, I’ve learned that’s a foolish way of thinking. What kind of life would that lead to, totally hiding my emotions or thoughts or feelings to those closest to me?

A pretty lonely one. And a life that is definitely not thriving.

So despite my fear of vulnerability, I want to tell you just part of the reason why I started this blog. Here it goes…

I’ve been an at-home dad since October 2014. But for a long time I didn’t fully embrace it.

I enjoyed most of the times with our daughter, but trudged through some of it wishing I was working or feeling like there was something “more important” I could be doing.

I failed at starting a little custom furniture making service, was inconsistent with jobs at home that I could have excelled at (like making good healthy dinners and budgeting our finances better), and felt overwhelmed and unfocused.

What I was really failing at was leading our family based on our values and mission.

But what if I had a clear vision of my purpose and mission, and the mission of our family?

With a clear mission I believe that I would have been a better husband, father, friend and neighbor because I would have been able to follow this sound advice “Wherever you are, be there”.

With a clear mission, I would have focused more on enjoying moments with my daughter and teaching her – but without one, I wasted some of our time together wishing that I were somewhere else.

With a clear mission I would have pursued friendships and relationships with family with greater purpose, rather than spending time with whom I enjoyed spending it, and avoiding spending time with those I didn’t.

How sad that I wasted that time.

But now, my wife and I have been clarifying our mission and values – and it has been life-changing.

So that is part of the reason for this blog – I want to invite you to join our journey.

Clarifying your mission is a process and it will take work.

But if you haven’t begun, don’t wait another day.

If you need some help, soon I’ll be sharing some tools to use.

For now, comment below and share Why do you want to clarify your values mission?

For me, it’s because I don’t want to waste any more time.

What’s your reason?

Spread the word
Papa Ben Dambman

Ben has spent his life searching for the meaning of "home", having lived in Nigeria, Philadelphia, Florida, California, Chicago, Australia and Costa Rica. He believes that "home" (whether you are a globetrotter, have lived in the same house your entire life, or don't even have a place to call home) is something more than a location... and that clearly defining what "home" means to you is essential for a thriving life.


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